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What do I do as a psychologist?
When a person comes to see me, I listen. Every person is different, and I am trained to listen to you very carefully. I'm not waiting for my turn to talk, as people often do in regular conversation.
I want to hear "where you're at."
Therapy is a safe place to talk about what you've been through, what your life is like, what you are thinking and feeling. Together, we find ways to understand your experience. Often, the understanding, sometimes together with thoughts from me, leads you to a better and deeper comprehension of your experience. Clarity and insight about your emotions and thoughts give you more choices in your behavior and in your life.
I am trained to listen carefully, and in a special way. In my training, I learned to listen with a "new ear" – not mechanically, and not making assumptions about you. When someone says "You know?" to me, I don't assume that I know what their experience is. Each person's experience is important, and I do not want to put my assumptions into their world.
We create a space for you to look at you. I am there with you so you are not alone, and it is not so scary. We go at your pace. You decide what you want to talk about. If you don't know what you want to talk about, either I can help you with that, or we can take a look at how it feels to have that feeling. That exploration will lead to something valuable, in my experience!
I have a specific goal: Can I work on a specific goal in therapy?
Yes.
I've got to have fewer severe hypoglycemia reactions, I'm depressed, I need to lower my HA1C."
I want to be more patient with my kids.
I want to enjoy sex.
I think I have PTSD.
Yes.
We can talk and explore, and/or we can talk about ways for you to accomplish specific goals, and and/or we can use some behavioral techniques to help you get on the right road for yourself.
What are some ways that talking to a psychologist is different from talking to my best friend, my family or my co-worker?
Confidentiality and privacy. No leaks to mom, your boss, your uncle.
I do not get bored listening to you talk a lot. You also don't have to talk.
Non-biased and No Previous History:
- I don't have a picture of you as "the one who never gave your mother any trouble" or "the troublemaker."
- I don't remember when you were the star of your soccer team or when you almost started a fire in the kitchen.
- I don't need you to be like your Uncle Duke and go to law school, even if you do look like him.
We have 50 minutes for a session. When we are done, we don't have any more interactions (unless you need to call) until you come in again. It's not like at home where the remnants of a serious talk are with you all day and all night.
We do not have a reciprocal relationship. I expect you to come to your appointments (or cancel them at least 24 hours in advance), and to participate in your own therapy. And pay me the fee we agree upon. But, the therapy relationship is unique, because the focus is on you. I will not tell you that much about myself -- I want you focusing on you, and not on what you know about me, my friends or my family.
If you tell me some personal things about yourself, you will not see me at work, at family events, or at gatherings with friends. Even if you do run into me, your confidences are safe.
To some extent, a friend will tell you what you want to hear. If you are worried about marrying Person X and the friend says "I don't think you should marry Person X because s/he is a jerk," and you do marry Person X, chances are you won't stay friends with the person who told you that. If you express concerns about marrying Person X, I would strongly encourage you to figure out exactly what those concerns are, and not push them under the rug. I would also give you feedback on what you were saying and what you seemed to be telling me that you were feeling.
What about trust?
Your communications with me will be private and confidential, within the limits of the law.
I certainly don't expect "instant trust" – we all come in with different life experiences, and many people have had experiences that have taught them that they can't trust. In therapy, we want to understand what experiences you have had that led you to not trust.
There is also no reason for you to trust a perfect stranger. You can be as cautious as you like.
I hope to earn more of your trust over time.
So, remind me again why a person with diabetes might benefit from seeing a psychologist?
A person with diabetes who is having problems with blood sugars may benefit from seeing a psychologist to reduce factors that are interfering with his or her diabetes management – see the Roadblocks section of this website.
Reducing stress by being in therapy may help you manage your diabetes better.
Sometimes, people with diabetes would like to see a psychologist because they are dissatisfied with their lives – and the dissatisfaction has nothing to do with their having diabetes. It can be simpler to see a psychologist who understands how your diabetes interacts with your everyday living.
Choosing a Therapist
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